My miscarriage experience with the NHS

Very long post but it was a very long and traumatic experience!

I’m in no way badmouthing the NHS however I understand that hospitals are overly busy and sometimes it’s so hard for staff to give the care we personally need at the time.

I had a horrible experience with my miscarriage and just thought I could share it in case anyone else is looking for someone who’s been through the same thing. I can’t remember the right order of things but I am trying my best to as it is all sort of a blur.

I was 11 weeks and started bleeding at work, it felt just like a period with the usual cramps and aches, I had heard of a lot of people who had bled through their pregnancy and had regular periods and been fine so while in denial I brushed it off as being one of these people and finished my shift with some paracetamol.

After work my partner picked me up and I told him that we should go to hospital as I was bleeding, but I think it’s just a period so I’m not worried. We drove to hospital and were sent to the walk in doctors, we were then seen, my tummy was felt and told that nothing can be done but we should go home and just see what happens, only take paracetamol as anything else could harm the baby if it isn’t a miscarriage. So my worries did start setting in then.

We went home and my sister in law came over with her daughter, I had a hot water bottle for the pains as they were getting worse and I was passing a lot of blood and blood clots. I lay in the bedroom crying my eyes out with the realisation that I might lose this baby. I was going to the bathroom a lot to change the pads as I was soaking through and passing clots, after a while I came out the bathroom and said to my partner “I’m going to pass out” I have always been lightheaded so I know the feeling and sat down on the sofa feeling extremely light headed. I started losing balance of my head and couldn’t hold it up I was starting to close my eyes and couldn’t keep them open, I started becoming breathless and had difficulty breathing.

My sister in law rang 111 (Non emergency health hotline) and told them I’d been sent home from hospital earlier that day but now all this was happening, we were told to go straight to hospital a&e.

In the car I couldn’t keep my eyes open or breath normally I was fading in and out of consciousness with my partner holding me trying to keep me awake.

This is where a&e failed us. We got there and my partner had to hold me up with me leaning on a wall as I was so light headed I couldn’t stand up. The nurse at the desk could see this but kept trying to ask me questions and details such as name, address, date of birth, what had happened… I couldn’t even answer, my partner answered but she still directed all the questions at me. He tried to explain I was losing consciousness. So we were told to take a seat.

I started losing my breath even more and hyperventilating, I had a panic attack. I had never had one before and I felt so humiliated in front of everyone  staring at me in a&e. I lost consciousness and my sister and boyfriend were shouting across to the desk but no one came over to help. He went over to speak to them and tell them to come and look at me and so I opened my eyes to see a confused looking young nurse (looked like a trainee nurse) standing looking at me.

A couple were called in to see the nurse before us but came out and told us to go in as they had seen what I was like and told the nurse to see us first. Thank you to those people! If they could see I needed help why couldn’t the professionals see that?

The nurse was extremely rude as we went in, mark literally dragging me with his arm around my waist as I couldn’t walk. I was shaking uncontrollably and she looked at me and said “Why are you doing all this with your hands?” Why am I doing all this!? Because I just had a panic attack?! Because my body is obviously not well at the moment!? She asked questions, took my blood pressure and felt my back which was sweating even though I was freezing. After a while she realised there was actually something wrong with me and started being nice. She held my hand and started explaining that she will get me on a ward straight away as I shouldn’t be sweating that much if I’m freezing. I had started to get over my panic attack a bit by now.

On the ward they asked me to do a urine sample in a sick bowl! I did it and it was filled with blood. By the point of being on the ward with an elderly man screaming the place down as he was confused, asking the staff if they knew what was happening with me, my pains were getting worse, we just had to sit there waiting for hours, I was crying my eyes out and distraught I was losing my baby. Nurses kept coming in checking my blood pressure and then walking out and leaving us in the dark over and over. Only once did the nurse look at me confused and say “Are you in pain?” As I was crying and moaning. I said yes and he said he will speak to the DR and get them to see me. He came back with paracetamol and said that’s all he could do. How did no one else notice I was sitting there in pain crying and no one was telling me whether I was losing my baby yet or not.

Eventually a woman came in and told me in these exact words “Well, you know what we think is happening so take these paracetamols and go home and wait and see.” She then went on to explain how a first pregnancy is often training for the the second and how common it is blah blah…

By this time the pains had gotten so worse I had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair I was almost screaming, it was contractions that were now very close together.

When we got home my parents were called to give my boyfriend a 10 minute break for a cigarette, and a little cry without me seeing. He is amazing at being strong for me. We tried to put a movie on to distract from the pains.

Eventually I had the urge to push on the toilet (I thought it was a poo) I got my boyfriend to hold my legs up as he sat on the bath as it felt much better that way, I pushed and out came the baby, I was distraught, I screamed. After that another urge to push which I don’t know could have been a big blood clot? and then pains started getting better. The cramps seriously reduced and I was able to sit and relax after that horrible trauma.

After a few days days of a small cramps and continuous bleeding I was sent for a scan to check all was out (having to walk through the women heavily pregnant waiting for scans was cruel and made me burst into tears) The woman I saw explained she was worried I was still bleeding and that we might have to go in for an operation, it was unexpected and there was no choice for me to make I just had to go along with it. She sent me for an internal scan where they saw the sac still in there which was a funny shape as the baby had got out of it and it was still trying to grow, and a big blood clot.

I had to go through a D&C, We were put straight onto a ward and told not to eat or drink anything, we went for the scan at 11am, by the time they got me into the operating theatre it was 11pm. Because they didn’t know what time I was going in for that entire time I couldn’t eat or drink, it should only be a 4 hour fast pre-operation. I was in pain and it was just horrendous. To add to it they told me my boyfriend couldn’t stay while I was in the operating theatre and would have to go home and come back in visiting hours. So I was going to be left alone days after losing my baby.

When I came out the operation I was so drugged up that I burst into tears when coming round and said my baby is all gone now. The nurses asked their superior if my boyfriend could come back as I was so upset, she said yes. So he could have stayed there the whole time! I rang him, he had just got to sleep, he came down and we then slept and dealt with the day after of waiting to be discharged.

It was so long, so traumatic, so uncaring. Everything that this experience should not be. Its horrible to think this was allowed to happen and there really needs to be a change…

I do hope no one else has been through the same or similar but if you have I would love to hear about it.